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Author Topic: Cirque du Soleil  (Read 1326 times)
paloma
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« on: September 06, 2006, 12:22:19 PM »

Hello new forum readers! And Eric, and Paloma, and anybody else.

If any of you fabulous astrologers have a moment to look at my chart and offer some guidance, I would really love it. It's been a tough 3 days of crying, crying, crying, and mostly wanting to die/disappear because of disappointment.


I really want a job as a performer with Cirque du Soleil. I auditioned back in late May, and had a ton of friends backing me up 'energetically' to help make it happen. I didn't make it. Then I tried applying to them in other, non-performer ways. Still nothing is working; even my unique proposal for a job that doesn't exist yet with them (to be a Healer for their Performers, working backstage during every show) didn't fly (so far). The frustrating part goes like this: now that I have figured out and clarified for myself just how badly I want to be performing, and more importantly, how much I really *need* to have a very physical, intense, creative, colorful, magical job, I can't go backwards. (Which I feel like I'm currently doing, by having yet another oh-so-boring temp office job from Monday to Friday). I did all kinds of 'stuff' to make this Cirque job happen; I got way into the Teachings of Abraham, which talks about manifesting stuff by matching its vibration, and by writing and visualizing about it a LOT, and expecting really high results and nothing less. Funny thing is, there's this 'catch' to Abraham Teachings/Manifestation, which is that you have to not be attached to the results actually showing up in the physical world. My problem is, I'm attached! I want it!



Plus, I had a psychic reading right before the audition. She said that they were/are definitely going to hire me, and by August. (Eh-hemm, excuse me but it's now September). So I really thought it was going to happen. And now that the last job i applied for with them (Dance Coach in Vegas) has just been filled (not with me!), I'm not sure what to do next. I really don't feel like re-investing so to speak in my life in this town. I wanted to go be with them; I wanted that whole world, that whole experience of having a physical, rewarding, crowd-pleasing, vibe-lifting job...all contained within an organization big enough and prosperous enough to take care of my housing, food and transportation..so that I'd be completely freed up to focus on being my most artistic, creative, sparkly self.



I don't know what to do now-- keep trying to get hired by them, even in an office job that might get me closer? (or might drive me nuts because it's not a performer role) or make another video to try to get another audition? or do nothing for a while and forget it? I feel this hugely intense, burning desire or need to use my body, and to work hard as part of a group. There doesn't seem to be anything in my city that I could join. And I can't seem to figure out how to afford circus school/moving to San Francisco (for this school), even if they do take adult-aged students. I'm full of seeing how it's NOT working out right now, and have cried hard for 3 days straight. I feel like it's no use, I just want to give up and disappear, because my life is so incredibly, painfully FAR from what I want and need it to be. Is there anything in my chart right now that can help to explain this? or can help guide me towards something that might feel better?



thanks! Tina

Portland, Oregon, USA
http://planetwaves.net/chart.php?c=Tina
« Last Edit: September 10, 2006, 02:03:27 AM by deirdre » Logged

I am available for in depth readings by mail and phone; or in person, if you are in Barcelona. I am fluent in french, spanish and english. Contact me at  paloma@planetwaves.net
paloma
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« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2006, 09:42:01 AM »

Hi Tina,

First i want to congratulate you on your efforts. I am a long time fan of Le Cirque du Soleil, and the fact that you went through their audition process with such confidence and desire is, in my eyes, enough to be at awe. We are talking about one of the most high standard artistic companies in the world, if not the highest. They represent the meeting of perfection, beauty, poetry, technology, discipline and team work at the top top level. I think that you, being so close to becoming part of this ideal says a lot about yourself: your discipline, your talent, your drive and focus.

I say this without taking into account your chart. I say it just by the description of your process.

When i looked at your chart i just smiled and had a warm feeling in my chest, confirming all this in your stars. Your packed 9th house (five major players, plus the North Node), Mars on the midheaven, Leo rising with Jupiter on the ascendant...

I am curious to know what discipline you applied for. Do you mind sharing that information with us? I am also curious about your training and the projects you have taken before Le Cirque du Soleil. We might work deeper with your chart by having an idea about the other options you have.

That said, i am also very sorry that you didn't make it. From such a high ideal the feeling of falling must have been very hard for you. 

So, i'll use the image of falling to start working with your chart. One of Le Cirque du Soleil shows, Varekai, is about this methaphor, right? Why not use it?

The first thing that comes to my mind is, falling = failing... it is almost the same word. And i ask myself, when a toddler is learning to walk and falls, is it a failure? Or is it just a natural process of growth that requires much love and patience?

Then i think about the concept of falling from grace. As if failure, disgrace, and setbacks were a sign that there is something wrong with us, and that not having our desires fulfilled, and having them denied to us, means we are facing a sign of  outer judgement; being out of grace, as being cast out from the flow of life and creativity and joy. I believe there is a lot to be relearned about all these concepts.

Mistakes, failures, falls etc. are just negative ways of approaching life's process. In each one of these situations there is an opportunity for growth and transformation. Taking a positive, creative approach to life, means accepting and welcoming these stages as part of life too, not as a negation of it. As the saying goes, when a door closes, another opens. So, it is good to focus on the open ones, instead of getting trapped in the 'rejection feeling' of the closed doors.

I want to share with you, and the ASR readers, the work of this amazing woman called Sobonf
« Last Edit: September 11, 2006, 02:12:59 PM by Farah » Logged

I am available for in depth readings by mail and phone; or in person, if you are in Barcelona. I am fluent in french, spanish and english. Contact me at  paloma@planetwaves.net
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